then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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