i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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