Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
