I'm going to jail i love you
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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