Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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