Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Randomize
