He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
