Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
