real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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