hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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