Acid is not a monday night drug
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
