all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
