i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
