We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
