Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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