So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
