"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.