grinding to god bless the USA? really?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church