So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
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I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
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I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves