why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of