I looked at my own cervix.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Dating After Heartbreak
Everything about him screamed your future.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store