Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
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I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
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Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.