I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
