I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
