ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
