DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You're like the curious george of whores
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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