best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
