Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
