i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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