Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
