hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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