Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
