i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize