It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
