Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
