they need to just BURY HIM!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
