I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
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Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
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He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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