Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
