You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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