I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
