Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
