I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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