He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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