Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize