whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
