if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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