Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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