Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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