Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
