I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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