Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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