Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
