Don't make out with my wife yet
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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