anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
