cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize