We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize