New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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