I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
