and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
