i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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