batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
