this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize